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Saturday, 06 December 2008

When it comes to relationships, are you afraid of commitment?

I am terrified at the thought of being with someone for the long run! I used to love being committed, but after a trial run of horrendous relationships, I don't think it is for me until the right guy comes along, I believe. I haven't shut the door of my heart completely, rather earnestly waiting for the right one to come and ease my fears and make me fall in love with no fear. I am and will always be scared of doing the wrong thing and getting into arguments! I hate arguments and I just can't and couldn't fathom going to bed angry. What if something was to happen to your significant other and you lost that opportunity to apologize and have that mind blowing makeup sex? would u die a thousand deaths on the inside slowly or find someone to blame?

I just answered this Featured Question; you can answer it too!

Tuesday, 02 December 2008

Rejuvenated or not?

All my life all I ever wanted to do was to be a nurse. I waited 8 long years to finally achieve my dream as I will finally be graduating from Nursing school in a matter of 11 days and venturing out into a world full of wolves, where they eat the baby nurses. Am i ready for this? I believe when i face certain challenges God will give me the strength.
            Marriage....i believe i am the last of my select group of friends left to be engaged and married and as per customs and traditions of the Indian culture, I believe i might be caving in and forced to get me a Mail-order-husband. Will I ever be able to find a guy who can live up to my expectations? Will i succumb to meeting my "future husband" upon arriving at the Motherland, getting engaged on Monday, and married by Friday, with no contact in between? Am i the kind to say 2 out of 5 aint bad or 4 out of 10 aint bad?
   NO! i am not!! i believe i deserve the best and if i have to be a old hag waiting for that day or maybe look over ONE thing then I am ready to settle. When I do find someone who meets my criteria and whom i can see myself with, the question then arises, why isn't he already married or an Indian? Why would i put myself in situations where i get hurt and then man up to get over it? I promise, these situations just come looking for me because i barely have time to venture out and get myself in trouble...
            Life is truly complicated. Just when I thought I didn't need to be married or engaged, the feelings of wanting to participate in such festivities for myself comes to heart? why do i feel out of it, almost in a depersonalization mode? Just don't care anymore...or do i bare that tough facade on the exterior to hide my internal anger and sadness conflicting with each other? I want to be able to experience happiness but for the time being, I shall be patient and wait my turn. When that day comes, I know I will love him with my whole and selfish heart. There is someone for everyone and I cant wait to see who mine is.
Relationships

Growing up in a tradional driven culture one would think and believe that being an Indian, you cannot marry outside your race. With this in mind, tell me why when you find someone who fills those criterias to a tee, finds some excuse and runs away and makes you wonder if you did something wrong or was it just you as a person? I would try to find words to explain how i feel, but i find myself speechless and quite baffled. God puts people in our lives for a reason and purpose and i also kno that He will help me through whatever outcome this may lead to. Also, does wealth constitute as a factor towards the growth of a relationship? family background? Maybe in the olden times when our parents got married, but does it really matter now? what about Love? the way he makes you feel? guess when it all boils down, some guys are old fashioned and cant ween themselves away from their parents bosom. Are these guys worth it then?
When its over....

I read this on a friends profile and it really touched me and stated everything i felt....

One day, when she is done trying and your done having fun, you will realize that things could have been different. It is on that day that you will wake up and realize just how much you love her, but when that day comes, she will be waking up next to the guy who already knows.

Things happens and one just gotta move on and pray that God has planned something different and wonderful in your life. Eventually, one just accepts it and knows that Father knows best.
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